You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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