i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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