She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
