i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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