She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize