I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
