U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
