Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
