chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Mom said you looked used
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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