She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize