he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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