Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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