PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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