im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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