so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize