Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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