i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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