He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize