Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
