She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
