the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just blew my weed a kiss
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
