I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
