Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
