Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
