Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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