I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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