Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize