OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
