the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
