If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If i come over, it means nothing
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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