great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize