dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you didnt know i had herpes?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
