One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
