Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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