He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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