a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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