I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
