I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
