i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
look no pants
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
