his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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