I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
