Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
