The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
