did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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