We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize