i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
