Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
