I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize