My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
