And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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