Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
