I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
