I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
