the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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