That's when you crack a 10am beer
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
