put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
please come you make the beer taste better
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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