Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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