Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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