If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
