I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
