The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
