Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
