if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
