i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
