A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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